Im a sorry excuse for a human being....

Yesterday...as in (October 13, 2004). I told my friends Al, Bekah, GOD and others that I quit this horrible horrible decease that plaques the world called gambling. Im a stubborn motherfucker and I hate losing. When you hate losing and you go to a place where the house always win....well you have a problem. So I quit gambling. Do you want to know how long I lasted.

...............................................................2 days.

Ladies and Gentlemen.......TOMIYA!!!

This is beyond absurd. What really happen was...I had a shitty day where I had to work at my mom's restaurant. I really hate working there. And all you "get a job" people crap on your heads because it wouldn't of mattered if I had a 9-5 job. She would still make me work there. Well...anyways..I felt shitty and I usually like to go the boat to make me feel better. But there was this problem that I had. The problem was When you have lost as much money as I have in the past week. Going back to the casino to spend more money is a bad thing. but I really wanted to go so I just brought 20 bucks. What's 20 bucks anyway. I mean I lost 80 the other night and 200 a week back. So i go into the casino ...and Im doing good up 40 bucks and I hit a pair of misses and I go the craps table...the craps table was bad and lost 20 bucks...eventually...i hit a string of shitty numbers and lost my money. But I wasn't mad at all. I got alittle frustrated at the end of the gambling, but I did okay and I left the casino. I realized 2 things over the past week.

1) if you are going to gamble...i think you should gamble hard and alot. It is rather pointless to throw 5 bucks on the table and try to grind it out. because you lose time either way and you to win consistantly is rather hard from what I have experience in the past 2 weeks.

2) I really do like gambling just to play. It sounds rather stupid but for the past week..just sitting on the table and watching these people lose their money faster than I can say..."america....fuck yeah" ....is awesome. So pulling out alot of money is pointless.

so from now on its: 20 bucks...

if i make 20 bucks. put my money back in my pocket. and play with the other 20 bucks until I ...either win til im happy. Or lose it all.

if I lose 20 bucks.

........................its only 20 bucks.

.

I hope this works.